we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
