I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
do herpes really smell.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
