Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
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