We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i was born a porn star she said
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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