i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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