it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
