the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
