It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
