A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
