You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
