They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
