Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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