if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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