Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
