you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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