is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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