Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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