I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
