he wants to bone in the snuggie
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize