Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We talked him into tasing himself.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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