butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize
