I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You ruined the universe
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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