Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The air taste purple.
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