Are we in a gay sports bar?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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