The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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