he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
