she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
