just come out here and I will go home with you...
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
