I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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