you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
