If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
