Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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