He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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