she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
