i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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