I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i barfeds in our rink
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Randomize
