friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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