Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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