So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
