i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
