his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
