she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
be right there i have to get my cape
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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