Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
