he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
