Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
