So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
