My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
