And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
