i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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