4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I think I died a long time ago.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
