You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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