I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
