Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
My breasts were aching with rage.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
