We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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