Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
