Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Come on in and take your pants off
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