Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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