I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Randomize
