Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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