Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
