i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
You left your phone here
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