Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
