apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
