spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
The ass gains better be worth it
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