Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he thought i was a dude.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize