Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize