am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
