Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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