Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
